Thanksgiving Weekend 2015

Took a rainy-day walk to the Endowment Lands; something we haven't done for a while (well, it hasn't rained that much!). It was something the kids wanted to do - something we used to do quite a bit when they were younger - and I was very happy they wanted to go. Mike and I are used to walking distances. However, what we consider a short walk appeared to be a long, tiring walk for Bronwyn and River. They enjoyed it..but whining set in toward the end. The colours were quite dramatic; a 1000 shades of green and, here and there, a shower of golden leaves lit up the branches and lay draped and curled all around the green and mossy limbs. River was able to get re-acquainted with slugs (he became fascinated them when we went camping in August; almost as if he hadn't even noticed them before). Bronwyn chit-chatted and gathered large maple leaves. She wanted to bring them home and press them. I let her decide about that. It seems time to really let her try to figure out and make her own decisions about things. "Mummy, can I take this home? Do we have anything I can press this leaf with? Do I have any big books?" I replied that, yes, she could take it home. But as to whether or not she had a big book, or thought she could press it, that was up to her to think about and decide. It appears that giving kids this freedom to make their own decisions is not entirely welcome. Making decisions requires thought and a degree of effort, and so kids might prefer that you do all that though and effort. But my brain is tired of thought and effort and I sometimes feel that I cannot make another decision.
 

I volunteered to be PAC Chairperson this year. I am still debating the wisdom of this. It seemed like a good, if impulsive, decision at the time. I wanted to volunteer in the community. However, I really don't know what I'm doing and am thoroughly winging it. But I believe that it is through learning new things that I stay alert and maintain what little brain power I have. We'll see how it goes. The last meeting went well. I'm not sure I needed to give myself extra anxiety; I feel full of a myriad of anxieties these days. From the day to day concerns of family, money, job, school....to the more fundamental and philosophical concerns such as life - death - aging, growing children and the future of my boy with autism.

On Sunday we took the kids swimming and they had a lot of fun. Bronwyn brought her friend, Cami, along. River swam by himself in a pool for the first time ever! I was both proud and cautious. I let him be by himself for only a few minutes while I got changed (and even then, Mike stayed by the side of the pool until I came back). I changed guiltily, wondering all the time if I'd done the right thing. Would he be ok in there? What if something happened and I was that negligent parent who selfishly left the pool rather than stay to accompany my child who can barely swim? Even though Mike was there and so were the life-guards, and it is shallow, and...he CAN swim! So I changed quickly and returned to find River happily swimming and playing around with the pool toys. A relief! My worry about River can sometimes be overwhelming and all-consuming. It's not something I can talk about without choking back tears that come almost automatically, and without warning, any time I voice these worries. And there are worries about Brownyn too. Going through all the uncertainty of puberty. Growing up, but wanting to stay small at the same time. Letting go with one hand, while clinging to me with the other. What a strange and difficult time for her. I have to hold back from lecturing to often. On the one hand I want her to make her own decisions, but on the other hand I find it hard to resist giving my thoughts and opinions on everything she does! Poor girl. She is not the only one growing and learning, I guess. It's not something that we just stop doing once we reach adulthood. I am, like her, still unfinished, with a lot to learn.

Here comes the ....rain.

Woke up this morning to a dark, rain-soaked world and a sore throat. The cold that I have been trying to fight for the last few days seems to have taken hold in the night. Another night with not much sleep. My body seems to have forgotten how to sleep and it is very annoying. On the nights when I can sleep, River decides that 2am is a great time to wake-up and have some fun. On the nights when he sleeps, my body decides to lay awake. I'm not sure what is up. I am wondering if we simply lose our ability to sleep as we get older.

We have been worrying about River lately and those type of worries are true 3am worries. The type that keep you up for hours, but don't seem so bad in the light of day (I use the term "light" loosely...I am hard-pressed to describe the grey, dismal cloak outside the window as "light"). I think I really have to get a handle on his intervention program. We had a team meeting yesterday and today I met with another consultant who pointed out things that could be different in his program. The thing that is lacking is the skills needed to begin any kind of conversation with River (or him with us). This seems to be so slow in coming. She gave me some ideas and showed me some clips of other kids at different stages in their intervention programs. I was a little dismayed at the progress some of these kids had made compared to River. I think it is a lot to do with his program, it is good, but too slow. I need to take a more active role and take more control of his targets.

The consultant today gave me loads of ideas and offered to help me put together some "scripts" and storyboards for various routines. This way we can go through some routine activities with River until he has memorized the elements that make up those routines and be able to tell us what comes next etc. The hope is that he can then generalize this into other activities so that we can talk about various things/activities and what to expect...what we like, don't like etc. What is wonderful is that she is just doing this to help. No payment. She's even going to take a Saturday morning to show me how to make the "scripts/story boards on the computer. It's great to find someone like that. We found her by accident when we were frantically calling around (ANYONE) when we first received River's diagnosis and were completely overwhelmed. She guided us through the whole complicated system of autism funding/supported childcare/finding ABA consultants/finding behavioural interventionists/occupational therapists/speech therapy etc. She works with Vancouver's Infant Development Program. This is a great resource for parents with babies and young children with special needs. I have heard that cut-backs are coming. I just hope this program stays intact. It is an invaluable resource to parents like us. I think I may have to write letters to government!

River is still wandering. Perhaps more so these days. He takes off whenever I take, or pick up, Bronwyn from school. Luckily, I have met a few parents who know what River is like and how fast he can move. There are a few pairs of eyes looking out for him, which is fantastic. I'm so glad we moved schools. There are aspects of the old school we miss, but we have maintained some friendships and that is good. We had Callum and Conan (and Helen) over today which was great. Callum and Bronwyn were in kindergarten together. Helen and I made plans (again) to go for a beer which will be fun. We just need to make sure it's a non-hockey day because otherwise the bars are ridiculous. I will make a plan.

Bronwyn seems to have hitched a ride on the play date train this week. It's great...but busy! Halloween is fast approaching and I don't feel like anything is ready. It is also going to be Mark's birthday. Unfortunately, his birthday always ends up taking a back seat to Halloween. I am sure we'll come up with something. It's pumpkin carving day tomorrow....yay!

Porteau Cove

Bronwyn and I had a lovely (and very wet) camping trip to Porteau Cove this past weekend. Porteau Cove is a small park/campground only about an hour away with campsites right on the ocean. We had this crazy idea that it would be empty (thinking that no one bothers to camp after Labour Day). Bronwyn arrived at about 10:30am on Saturday and the sign at the campground entrance said FULL. I asked the guy at the front if it was true, and he said well, there may be one at the end. And there was! In fact it was a lovely spot right beside the ocean.

Bronwyn and I spent the day "log-hopping"; we went back and forth along the beach only walking across log to log... if you put your foot on the ground then you will be eaten by sharks...remember that game?  We played it for a long time.

We collected pebbles and stones, and I made a wonderful fire (didn't impress Bronwyn, but I impressed myself). At about 4:30 the rain started....lightly at first and then it set in for the long-haul. The van is a god-send!

We played in the rain for a while and then tucked ourselves up in the van and read books. It rained solidly throughout the night. Porteau Cove is right by the train tracks and sure enough, at 3:00am a goods train came barrelling through sounding like a raging, screaming monster. Amazingly enough, Bronwyn slept through it.

the view from breakfast in the the van...

On Sunday, Bronwyn went out to play some more in the rain and I made us some breakfast, and we ate it in the van while looking out at the ocean (and the rain). We played some games of Snap! and "Old Maid" and then headed for home. It's a very cool campground, so close to the city and very close to the water. At $38, the fee is outrageous....but it's great for an overnight. I can see a solo trip in my future.

Treasure hunts and a birthday...

We have decided to instigate a "do-nothing" day on the weekend. Or a do-virtually-nothing day. When you decide to do that then life instantly becomes more fun. On Sunday we went for a rainy walk in Pacific Spirit Park. Unexpectedly, there was a kid's treasure hunt which was a lot of fun. And informative. I can now recognize, with a degree of certainty, trees such as alder, cedar, birch, Douglas Fir, as well as salmon berries, snow berries and huckleberries...about time...I have been walking and running the Pacific Spirit Park trails regularly, sometimes daily for the past 14 years! The park volunteers hung flags with clues for the kids, like the one in the picture. Bronwyn loved it. She's a real nature girl...

with a touch of the Diva....

River loves the forest too. He just gets a bit tired towards the end...

We had a good weekend...the sail/blind contraption in the kid's bedroom seems to be working...yay! On Sunday it was the Vancouver marathon. The route runs past our house and so we watched people for a while and felt very out of shape. Especially when you see 100 year old people running along! It is amazing how far ahead the guy in the lead was...and he didn't even look tired. Then there were the stragglers at the back who looked like they were in no shape to go on a long walk, let alone run a marathon. Anyway, I need to get back to running...today is the day, in fact.

It does seems like it has been difficult to do fun things lately because I have been ridiculously busy. I do remember thinking that after radiation I would rest...ha ha...silly me. I have been more busy than I was before! Partly because I put things off until after radiation. Also unfortunately, Mark got some weird, and very painful, abdominal "thing" (we still don't know what it is/was), a few days after I finished radiation. He spent 6 hours in emergency with drunks telling him how much hand-sanitizer he'd need to drink to get a buzz. We suspected appendicitis. But that wasn't it. 4 doctors and an ultrasound later, we still have no idea. But it does seem to be going away, thanks goodness! He had to take additional time off work so that put paid to any silly ideas we had about going away somewhere "to rest". Oh well. That's life I suppose. Even though I have been rushing about like crazy, I still feel that the fatigue and the effects of the radiation are going away. And I have decided to make a determined effort to "do more fun stuff" no matter what. And I have almost finished Bronwyn's skirt.

Oh...and happy birthday Trini! It was her birthday on Saturday and her and Lorne came over (and brought the yummy cake) from Fratelli's on Commercial...probably the best bakery in Vancouver. Although I am very partial to Nottes Bon Ton because I love pastries too! Bronwyn and I made some snacks and some chocolate cornflake cakes...they were okay, not nearly as good as the cake! I am currently teaching Bronwyn to cook...now there's a usual thing for kid's to know. Next lesson...how to prepare breakfast in bed for mummy!

More of the wet stuff...

Here's a poem about rain by Shel Silverstein.

Rain

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

Shel Silverstein

It has to be said that this has been a very wet winter so far. It does rain a lot here. No question about that. But I think this is going to be one of those years when it pours and pours. Oppressive black clouds and dark heavy days when you can feel the weight of the moisture in the air. Actually, I don't mind the rain...but even I can get crazy after a few weeks or months of no light and constant dampness. I have to remind myself of a few things I like about the rain.

•  It keeps everything lush and green
• Puddle splashing is always fun with the kids
• I love listening to the rain fall and bounce through the trees when we walk in the endowment lands.
• Having the beach all to myself (and our dog).
• Sitting in cafes and coffee shops with steamed up windows
• Staying indoors and not feeling that I must to go out.
• Not having to bother to dry my hair

The temperatures are warmer and I like that. There are worries about the mountains. There is a big sporting event taking place in Vancouver this February. You may have heard about it. I am looking forward to April, when said sporting event will be over and done with and Vancouver can get back to normal. Vancouver changed in the last couple of years and not for the better. I am looking forward to the return of a more quietly understated Vancouver. An extremely beautiful place that never felt the need to brag to the rest of Canada and the world that it was the "greatest" place on the planet. But that's just me.

Ahhh....more of the wet stuff...

Good old Vancouver...start as you mean to go on. Rainfall warnings and dark wet days. The wet swooosh of cars going by. The eternal sound of the drip-drip-drop on the roof. And that one drip that always seems louder than the others...just to annoy you. You can make rhythmic patterns out of the sound of it. That's how much it rains here; even individual drip-drops have their nuances.

The kids have been sleeping-in (very nice), although it meant waking them up for school today. It was okay. We'd prepared everything the night before and we were ON TIME! This is quite a feat for us...we've yet to get to school on time for a whole week. So it's back to the grindstone. My New Year's Resolution is to have more fun...do more fun things and generally not get stressed out about things.

In that vein...kind of...I've begun a new knitting project...yay. I was getting tired of knitting hats, cute as they are. It is a Rowan Pattern. It's call Kid Classic Snug Tunic. Why the model is wearing Mickey Mouse ears, I guess we will never know. Lately, I've only knit hats and gloves. I needed a more substantial project. I am also working on a small cute project for Bronwyn for Bronwyn. A knitted Crocodile. A while back I planned to crochet a blanket. I ditched that idea after about 5 squares. That's how long it took me to realise that it was going to take a loooong time (though I may pick it up now and again).

Still waiting to hear from the doctor. I almost managed to forget about it over the holidays. Now it's back to haunt me. I hope it's good news. I can't say I'm not worried about it.

Puddles are for splashing...

The kids have a great time puddle-splashing. I wonder when they will start to walk around them instead of splashing through...what age is that? Maybe never...I still like a puddle splash!

What a face...mud-splashed and having fun.

Wiggles, Rain and other Bits and Bobs...

Unbelievable...we're into mid-October already! I haven't posted in a while. It's been busy and I haven't seem to find the time to sit down. Well, I'm here now and I won't bother recapping on the last month. So what's new? The Vancouver fall rain has arrived. We were starting to forget. It rains here...a lot. Fortunately, I like the rain. Or at least I like the rain when the temperatures aren't too cold. Mark has just taken the kids to the woods to splash like crazy in muddy puddles.

A highlight of last week was taking the kids to see the Wiggles. It was a fantastic kid's concert and they really enjoyed it. Bronwyn started dancing and brought out some crazy moves. She was doing a kind of break-dance routine...hilarious! We worried a little about River and how he would be - but he was completely captivated. The Wiggles are really the consummate children's entertainers. We were thoroughly impressed and have a new found respect for what they do. Here's a couple of pics...

River, watching in awe.

Bronwyn brings out some moves...


A picture of the whole cast.

They incorporated some gymnastics, which was fun. Anthony and the Captain are pretty strong!

And here's a cute one of the kids and their dad.

It was Thanksgiving weekend here, last weekend. Trini and Lorne cooked a wonderful feast. Did I get pictures? Of course not! They invited some other friends over with kids and the kids played while the adults talked. Lots of food, drink and noise...like get togethers that I remember as a kid, but that are all to infrequent now. It was a lot of fun. I won't mention Trini's yorkshire pudding...let's just say she can stop up any leaks and drafts with what is left over..but overall it was a lovely meal.

Ahhh...back to rain

I woke up today to the familiar sounds of January in Vancouver...the tap-tap-tapping of raindrops and the whooshing sound of cars and buses as they sail along puddle-ridden roads....ahhhh. I am thankful for that. Now the slushy snow and the gray dirty mounds at the side of the road will begin to melt and we can get out and about for walks again. Also I will be able to get back to running. Mind you, I noticed that there are plenty of people running in snow. I don't quite know what that is all about. Running tentatively across slippery compact snow and ice doesn't seem like a great exercise to me. I swear that one particularly snowy day I saw more people running than I would on a pleasant summer day in July. I have a theory that they are probably Easterners showing us wimpy Vancouverites that you can't let the snow stop you. Something like that. Or maybe they are just weird. I have been running on the treadmill at the gym, but it's not the same at all. For one thing you stay in one place.

We got out to the Festival of Lights at the VanDusen Gardens on Sunday. I don't have a picture that will do it justice. It is a wonderful show of lights. I will put up a picture that I like...even though it's more snow than anything.



To get a better picture I'll just link to VanDusen. We drove home in an unforecasted (is that actually a word?) blizzard passing many stationary cars with frantically spinning front wheels. Our trusty Subaru (and Mark's great driving) got us home okay, thank goodness. I did get a little worried at one point as we struggled up a hill. But all in all the evening was a fine finale to a lovely Christmas holiday.