Mother's Weekend

Sunrise at Deer Lake

I had a fabulous and relaxing weekend away camping. It was short notice, but I'm glad I decided to go. The weather recently has been just gorgeous and the weekend was no exception. I headed back to Sasquatch (yes, I know, I go there ALL the time). But it's close and blah blah. Next time I will try somewhere different. I spent the weekend reading and knitting and doing a bit of writing. Just perfect. I even ventured to get up at 5:00am and go for a walk as the sun was rising over the mountains. I felt spoiled, as a mother and just as a person, to be able to enjoy such beautiful surroundings. I just wish I could have stayed longer.

Mossy trail

Hate to see beer cans disposed of this way!

Fallen log

Small brook on the trail.

The lake through the trees.

Morning sun on the trail.

Home for a couple of days!

Back to reality, but at least I got a bit of time away. And finished "Cousin Bette" by Balzac; another great fabulous novel from nineteenth century France!

So lazy...

Should have gone for a run today...but instead...I didn't. It is really cold out and I blow-dried my hair this morning so it was just right. It will not be just right any more if I go for a run. Those are my pathetic excuses not to exercise. Shameful! So I will go on the weekend and then promise, promise..that I'll get back on track next week. Since I had to stop Jazzercise I have not really done a lot. Or at least I have not had a good routine of regular cardiac/weights exercise. My core has become weak and as we all know....IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CORE, PEOPLE!

Last weekend I took myself off in the van for a solitary weekend of camping. The rain fell in a near constant torrent and it was very cold. Mostly I sat in the warm van, wrapped up in a sleeping bag, and read. I did attempt a hike...but after my hands and feet went numb and it felt like there were pokers being jammed in my ears, I gave up and scurried back to the van.  I read "The Sense of an Ending" by Julian Barnes. I really enjoyed it. Although I would recommend it, I won't say anything about it because I have a way of talking about books that makes people NOT want to read them. So take my word (and the word of the Manbooker judges) that it's a good book. It was a very relaxing trip, although for some reason, perhaps the rain, the cold, the early onset of darkness, I felt more isolated on this trip. And there were other people around. I caught glimpses of hooded, waterproof covered figures with hunched shoulders and heads bent low, wandering around with no particular direction, like zombies. Maybe they were zombies...which would explain my slight sense of unease. And the flat tire I discovered on Sunday morning! And the chilling screams and groans, and sound of tearing flesh, that woke me in the middle of the night! Okay, I made that bit up. But I was greeted on Sunday morning by a flat tire! That bloody van has got it in for me. Thank goodness for BCAA. But I should learn to change a tire, I suppose. Thank goodness for BCAA so that I don't have to! A couple of pics...rounding of the season nicely. It was actually quite beautiful with everything draped and carpeted in gold.

Took the van to "Big O" a fun-filled tire changing place on Broadway. I had to wait over an hour because people are doing the winter-tire changeover...and "winterizing" their vehicles. I didn't know I would have to wait that long. I was scared to ask the tire-changing men; they looked cold and fed up and nothing like the people in this ad...the last thing they wanted to do was to answer a question. And they had no intention of smiling. It was: bring your car in...shut your mouth...wait for us to do the f$$king tires...then pay us and piss off! But that was just my impression and I didn't hold it against them, they did a great job. Incidentally, it's 20mins per car. What a task; changing car tires day in and day out...in the freezing cold. To be fair, I was informed that when there isn't a line-up of 20 cars and it's not sub-zero temps then things are way more pleasant for everyone involved. Understandable.

Bronwyn back at the dentist tomorrow for more sedation and treatment. She has a cold and is congested so she may not be able to have it done. She will be very disappointed she doesn't get her "medicine".

Camping with the girls...

 

A little belated. But here are some pictures of a camping trip that I took the weekend before last, with Bronwyn and her friend Gala. We returned to Sasquatch Provincial Park. As I've mentioned before, it is hard to resist; a quiet campground only 2.5 hrs from the city...with full cell coverage (if you're with Telus). It was a very lovely, fun trip.

The rain held off and we even managed to get some sun. I stayed in the background as usual; providing drinks, snacks, and some mediation when needed (which wasn't often). The girls had a fabulous time.

We did a fun walk down to the creek; the same one we went to when we camped with Bronwyn's friend, Nicky back in May. Then the water in the creek was high and fast due to Spring run off. Bronwyn and Gala washed their faces with smooth pebbles.

 Gala entertained us on the walk with a magic trick that she did with 3 pebbles...you had to choose one and she would shake them in her hands and 'magically', she would drop the one you chose into your hands. It was a cool trick but sadly she left the stones behind at the campsite.

We got a great campsite by the lake and they were able to explore the lakeside and take off on their own to the nearby playground. They even made a couple of friends. I enjoyed listening to them talk and getting a glimpse into their 7-year old world. Brownyn made up a song that they both sang at the tops of their voices;

Paradise is mi-ine,
God we rule the wo-orld


Paradise is mi-ine,
God we rule the wo-orld

Paradise is mi-ine,
God we rule the wo-orld

SAY IT

God we rule the wo-orld!

I suggested she said "Yeah" instead of "God"...it seemed it bit Evangelical sounding to my ears. She said it was "God" as in "Oh my God!" and did not take my suggestion.

We also walked the lakside trail. Slightly rainy and muddy, but all the better for it. To their shrieking delight the girls found a couple of frogs.

The leaves were steadily falling; carpeting the trail and draped over branches and twigs. Everything look golden. Bronwyn said to Gala, "Wow, this is beautiful!" and Gala replied, "Yes, it is!" And so are they.

The water level in the lake was quite low, leaving mudflats on the lakeside shore. These were too hard to resist and they made their way across to "islands of mud" as the clouds gathered and the day grew darker.

The sunset early and the we told stories around the campfire. Or rather I listened to them telling their stories and marvelled at the outrageous imagination of 7-year olds. This was Gala's first trip without her mom or dad. As evening crept in she would get quite homesick and she woke up both nights missing her mum. After the first night I wasn't sure she would want to stay a second. But the days were filled with laughter, chatter, play and discovery; no time to miss home. So she was brave and stayed a second night, again feeling the pit of homesickness as we sat around the fire and she realised that night was coming. I remember how that felt; I couldn't even go on a sleepover as a girl because I would miss my mum so much. Gala was brave and I was very impressed. So was Bronwyn. It was a really special trip and one that I think I will long remember. I hope they will too.

Almost seven

Another rainy Monday...oh 2011, what did we do to piss you off?

My rubbish tribute to Andy Goldsworthy

Back from a fun and relaxing camping trip. I had Friday to read, write, and relax by the campfire and then my sister came up on Saturday and we shared beers, stories, and some good laughs. We also did a couple of hikes. We needed to do something to kill the time in between beers...eh eh. It was a lot of fun. It's been a long time since I have gone camping with another adult! Went to Sasquatch; the same old place I went to the last few times. Next trip will be somewhere different...promise. A couple of pics.

 in the clear-cuts...eerie and desolate

 For some reason Trini decides to dress like a Paintball player when she goes camping...or a member of (what is called in England) the Territorial Army. I had trouble finding her she was so camouflaged. Actually, she didn't wear all the stuff at the same time until I asked her to, for a laugh.

Where's Trini?

 I can't believe Bronwyn turns seven tomorrow. I told her that today is the last day she will be six, that she should make the most of it because she'll never be six ever again. "I never thought of that," she said. Hope I didn't put a damper on things. I don't think so...she is excited to turn seven. Kids don't seem to look back the way we do as adults. Can't wait to tell her we are getting a dog: the ace up our sleeves. I also have to plan a party for Saturday...better start doing something.

Oh what fun we had!

We had so much fun this weekend when I went camping with Bronwyn and her friend Nicky. Up until the last minute we thought the weather was going to be terrible, and I almost cancelled. Even as we left there was a hailstorm in Vancouver. No point in going on about the crappy, rainy Spring weather we have been experiencing. 

Having fun in the rain on the lakeside trail

As it turned out, the rain came and went and by Saturday afternoon it had gone completely. Sunday was a beautiful warm and sunny day. The kids had a blast and so did I. It was actually more fun than I anticipated. They are good friends and just listening to their conversations was worth the trip. A little portal into the world of 6 year old kids with few constraints on their time, and when they are free to explore, make discoveries, get dirty, and have fun.

The above picture was taken after they been jumping, fully clothed, into a mud pit. Bronwyn is trying to help Nicky take his mud and water filled boots off. I tried to stay in the background; providing (near constant) food, clean clothes, some safety tips (NO! you cannot cross the rapids on that unstable slippery log) and a goodnight kiss.

They both posed for this picture...very cute

We went on a couple of long walks and even found a trail that we didn't know existed. It was a lovely gentle walk around the other side of the lake that led to a fast flowing stream, which I believe is called Mahood Creek. Nicky carried slugs along, much to the shrieking delight and grossed-outness of Bronwyn.

The amazing Slug-boy!

 The Spring run off is in full force and the water was churning and frothing; flowing noisily around rocks and fallen logs. We could hear the roar of the running water get louder as we approached. It was quite impressive and the kids had a great time jumping rocks and throwing stones and sticks into the torrent.

Racing sticks through the torrent

 

From there we scrambled up a hill and found ourselves on a logging road. We explored the area for a while. There was a curious clay underfoot...it moved and turned liquid when we stepped on it. Bronwyn and Nicky were fascinated by it.  However, the kids, and me, found the area kind of eerie. Nicky said, "This is like a place in a dream. If I was dreaming that I was here, then I'd probably pee my bed." I knew what he meant. It did have a strange, otherworldly feeling. I suppose trees are meant to be there, not stumps and piles of discarded wood. An odd, but interesting, landscape.

Later, as promised, I said we could go fishing. Bronwyn and Nicky wanted to fish off the dock, but I knew we wouldn't catch any fish there. Still, they insisted; some universal image they both had in mind that one must fish off a dock. There is a spot just around the lake that is good for fishing. Anyway, they only lasted about 5 minutes before they tired of it and ran off, calling back to me to let them know when I caught a fish. Which, of course, I didn't....because I was fishing off the dock. Sigh. Bronwyn held the rod briefly...but that was about it for her.

They really had a lot of fun splashing in the mud puddle at the campsite. Sliding down a log and landing thigh deep in a mud pit...I doubt their clothes will ever come clean again. But that's okay. I just hope that their memories of our trip will last at least as long as the mud stains on their clothes.

A little blurred...but Bronwyn's smile is priceless

 

Return to Sasquatch...

If you are a 6 year old girl who is going camping, these are the things you will need. I had no idea that Bronwyn was making a list; Mark found it after we'd left. We still forgot the fishing rod.

We had a lovely weekend. I toyed with the idea of going somewhere else, but ended up returning to Sasquatch Provincial Park. It is a known quantity and I think that is sometimes important when you are taking kids along. I intended to take Bronwyn and her friend Nicky, but sadly Nicky got sick and couldn't make it. So it was girls only and although Bronwyn missed not having a friend to play with, she made do with me and we had a great time.

We found a campsite that backed onto a forested area. It provided somewhere to explore, tree stumps to climb and a little stream nearby to dam. There were hummingbirds darting here and there and drinking nectar from the salmonberry flowers that bordered the campsite. And chirpy little chipmunks doing their busy thing, always looking a bit worried (avoiding getting eaten I suspect). I got busy chopping wood and setting up a tarp (it was cloudy and looked like it might rain). Bronwyn explored. It was the first trip of the year for Bronwyn and I had to make allowances for the fact she is used to constant distractions and, at first, found it difficult to entertain herself. It takes a while to get used the new environment; no TV, no friends. It's a bit like releasing a tamed animal back into the wild; it should be accustomed to the wilderness, but has been kept in an animal shelter and fed. She didn't want to stray far from me or the campsite. I anticipate that by the end of the camping season I will not see her from dawn until dusk unless she is hungry.

When we went for a hike, or sat around the campfire Bronwyn relaxed and stopped looking for constant entertainment. She sat in the chair beside me and we talked and joked. We shared our thoughts and ideas and hopes for the future. Here are some of hers: she wants to be a Rock Star....for dogs. She intends to create songs in dog-language that will be entertaining and meaningful for dogs. She told me that she doesn't think she was born from me, but that she was created somewhere else; in the wild, or under the water, and then put in my tummy. She also told told me that if anyone hurt me, even if she liked them, even if it was her boyfriend, she would kill them. I replied that I hoped she would not find a boyfriend who tried to hurt me. But good to know she's got my back.

We took a walk on the lakeside trail which had changed even from two weeks ago - of course, it is a living thing after all. More logs had fallen across the path, the ferns were spreading out, and the Birches and Alders growing new shoots and leaves.

We forgot the fishing rod and so Bronwyn made her own. A stick with string and a twist-tie hook. She took food samples; green pepper, strawberry, a bit of mushroom and cast her line off the dock. We finally got sunshine and I laid back on the warm planks of the dock to soak it up.

Unfortunately, the fish weren't biting. I did explain that fish aren't always hungry. That people can spend the whole day fishing and never get a single bite. She didn't get too discouraged. She did manage to snag a stick. I told her it could be a fish disguised as a stick and that she should throw it back anyway, just in case. She got a laugh out of that and threw back the stick-fish.

It was actually a bit of work to keep her entertained. I even put together a raft that she could sail down the stream that ran past the campsite and under the path to the lake (after she brought back the soggy paper boat I made). I am actually proud of the raft..it is very sturdy. However, on its maiden voyage it got stuck in  a tunnel. We tried to release it, but it wouldn't budge. Goodbye awsome raft, we said. Even though we both know how much I dislike the word "awesome" (it was appropriate in this case). We felt a little sad about losing it. I set about making another one which was okay, but not as good as the first one. Then just before we were leaving the next day we took a quick look at the other side of the tunnel and Bronwyn said, "I can see it!" It had been pushed along towards the other end of the tunnel over night. So we rescued it using part of a long branch and brought it home. Many of my pictures got blown out because I had somehow altered the exposure compensation on the camera...+1.7, which as Mark redundantly pointed out, is huge and ruins your photographs. Annoying because I'd really worked at setting up some good shots. Oh well, I got some good snap shots anyway. 

I had a couple of hours to myself in the evening to contemplate life in front of the campfire. I thought a lot about Stefan and about how unfair life is. I made bargains with a God that I don't even think exists. Things like, "Make Stefan well and I'll go to church every week". But things are not getting better. They are hoping to move Stefan to Canuck Place Hospice soon, but the date keeps getting moved. It is unbearably sad and I cannot fathom how Erin and Hogie, and other parents in similar situations, manage to keep it together and stay strong. Ultimately, because they have to. Because no one else can do it except them. There cannot be a heavier burden in this world. We are still hoping against hope.

Mark stayed home and hung out with River. And we avoided all and everything to do with the royal wedding.