Aggressive Tooth Brushing...wah??

Ever notice gaps in your understanding of life? That is when you suddenly discover something that it seems everyone else knew about but you somehow missed? Does this happen to everyone?

Here are a couple of occasions when I have been merrily going through life only to find certain information was kept hidden from me for years.

The Beavers: I went through life, right up until my mid-30s, thinking that Beavers were the size of large rats. I'd seen them on TV, knew they built complex dams and gnawed down trees. I knew all of that. I just assumed they worked in large groups and that building a dam involved an awful lot of teamwork, as did the gnawing through the trunks of small trees. I knew they were a huge part of the early fur trade in Canada...I just assumed that many, many pelts were sewn together to make a coats etc. I made all the facts fit into my incorrect assumption which did not change for many years. Interesting. It only changed when, in conversation, I mentioned something about how many beavers hunters would have to collect in order to trade and make something. "Hang on," said the person I was talking to (finally cluing in), "how big do you think beavers are?" 
Me: "Errr...about the size of large rats...aren't they?"
Him: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Cue beaver paradigm shift.

Defrosting chicken breasts: you can thaw chicken under warm running water or put it in warm water. It will defrost really quickly. Obvious!! But I didn't find this out until someone mentioned it a few years ago. Admittedly, I was a vegetarian for many years. But still, I was leaving the chicken out until it had completely defrosted...it was taking ages. I had to change recipes and find alternatives because the chicken breast wasn't defrosted in time. Why didn't I know the warm water thing?

And here's a new one...

Aggressive Tooth Brushing. It's really bad. It can do this to your teeth. (Not my tooth, incidentally)

And once your gums have receded they are GONE FOREVER. No amount of crying and retro-active laid back brushing is going to get them back. If you want them back you have to have a soft tissue skin graft or something. What the???? Does everyone else know this? If so, why didn't anyone mention it? Why hasn't one single dentist in all my 40 years of going to the dentist, ever said anything. "Brush regularly, floss every day...oh...and never brush aggressively with abrasive toothpaste". Is that so hard? (A while back I was using toothpaste that actually had what seemed like grit in it!) I have always brushed aggressively...I thought you were supposed to. I discovered this information, by accident, the other day. I noticed that the gum of one of my front incisors (that is capped) was receding. "Ugh," I thought to myself, "better brush it harder." Then later I decided to consult Dr. Google. Hey presto...there was the culprit: "Aggressive tooth brushing!" Seems it's common knowledge. But I never heard of it. For goodness sake! Using too much toothpaste, especially whitening toothpaste, or toothpaste with baking soda, (yeah...the type I've used for years) and using a firm toothbrush basically wears down your teeth and gums and causes permanent damage. Talk about closing the gate after the horse has bolted.

This is further evidence, as if any were needed, that we are regularly abducted by aliens. It is during these abductions that we miss out on bits and pieces of common knowledge. When we are put back on earth there are small pieces of information missing from our consciousness. Obvious, isn't it?

Urban Fair?

No go for Bronwyn at the dentist today. Her cold prevented her from having the treatment, so it was postponed. In preparation for the sedative she was not allowed to eat or drink past midnight. Seeing she goes to bed around 8:00pm that meant she was extremely hungry by the time we left the dentist around 9:00am this morning. The dentist office is situated above Urban Fare in Yaletown. Urban Fare is a grocery store that thinks it is Harrods Food Hall. A little more care is taken over the decor...but essentially it is just a grocery store. It caters to the Vancouver Urbanite; a professional family of 4 living in a 500sq ft condo; a professional couple living in a 300sq ft condo with a tiny dog that wears jewellery and little shoes; a single professional living in a cupboard. People pay a lot to live in Vancouver's hottest and fastest growing urban neighbourhood, and they demand to pay more for their commodities, goddammit! They want the exact same groceries that other "lesser" grocery stores sell, but these should be displayed in a style generally agreed to be more aesthetically pleasing (a mixture of rustic old-world, and modern utility), they should cost 20% more, and be labelled "gourmet". What's the point in buying an over-priced condo and taking out a massive line of credit if you don't get to pay more for everything you buy???   

Actually, they do have some "specialty" items that looked very tempting. I was drooling over the displays of  handmade chocolates and cookies and ogling the treats in the deli while providing Bronwyn with a running commentary on how delicious or how amazing this or that looked. Bronwyn tagged along and then finally said, in desperation, "Can I just eat something?" Oh yeah...she was hungry. So she chose 3 tiny organic "gourmet" iced-donuts that tasted like cardboard. (I could have bought 10 Timbits for the price of one doughnut). One was iced with chocolate, one with raspberry and one with maple syrup. There was also one topped with lavender (!?) flavoured icing. That just sounded wrong. But what do I know?

While we sat in the cafe area and ate the doughnuts, I happened to notice 3 women occupying a nearby table and "eating" breakfast. They were probably in their 40's, slim, and dressed smart/casual. I was quite hungry myself and couldn't help noticing as I walked past their table (and stared at their food) that they had all ordered a full breakfast only to leave all their fried breakfast potatoes and toast on their plates. What? Who would do such a thing? It makes no sense. Don't order potatoes then...don't order a big breakfast. It took all my strength to resist saying, "Are you gonna eat that?" I hate wasted food. But I remembered where I was and simply stared longingly. In my ideal world you will be able to ask people if they are going to eat the rest of their food and, if not, they will gladly give it to you.

I suspect that woman #1 decided to leave her potatoes because she's watching her figure and we all know that carbohydrates are from the devil. She might be worried that if she eats her pile of potatoes she'll get fat and unattractive and subsequently shunned by the Yaletown community. The second woman, not to be outdone, probably looked over and thought, "Shit, she's not eating her potatoes. Well then, neither will I. In fact, I'm not going to eat my toast either...ha ha!" And I'm sure the third woman, who was a little heavier than the other two, thought, "Bitches! I could eat all your potatoes AND my own. But I'm just going to take 3 sips of my water, push the food around my plate and not eat any of it...ha! And when I get home I'll bury my face in a tub of green tea, lavender soy ice-cream!"

The dentist chair...

Bronwyn had to take a return trip to the dentist last weekend; a new pediatric dentist. Apparently, she has weak teeth or something like that. The dentist didn't come out and say that, she just came out and said she needed: 2 extractions, 5 fillings, one tooth capped, sealants and spacers. You don't have to be an expert to understand that the short version for that is "expensive". Even with extended health 'benefits' to cover part of it, dental work here is outrageously expensive. So I put two and two together and came to the conclusion that she has weak teeth. She eats no more candy than the next kid and brushes every day. Still, there we have it. This time last year I took her to our regular dentist to have a rotten tooth pulled. Not fun. I was not keen to relive that experience times 100! The dentist gave us the options: general anaesthetic or sedation. General anaesthetic seemed a good idea until we thought it through and realised we were not comfortable with putting her under. (Mark, who has never received general anaesthetic in his life, has a morbid fear of being put to sleep). We decided to convince her to have sedation and offered a very hefty bribe....a Wii player! As it turns out she actually preferred sedation (she was afraid a general would make her puke...a bigger fear it turns out, than the needle). So it was a kind of wasted bribe. Damn it, I hate when that happens.Now we're on the hook for a Wii player (hopefully, Craigslist will be fruitful).

Off to the dentist at a stupidly early time...8:00am. Soon after we arrived, we were led to a little back room containing a small couch and a table. A portable DVD player was on the table. Bronwyn was given the sedative and...a lolly(!) and we settled in to watch G-Force and wait for the 'medicine' to take effect.

I was noting things down in my journal and Bronwyn asked if she could write in it. Here is what she wrote:

Translation:

'I'm at the dentist write now just about to get my teeth pulled out wich will not be fun and I got mummy and kitty with me and I am allso waching a movie right now it's called G Force. It's about Guine pigs and one mean hamster that's berly in the movie. There's allso a mole and one of the guine pigs has a mohock. There in a pet shop right now the girl one just got taken by a little hummen girl and this is what she did: put lipstick on her lips and nail polish on her nales and a crown on her head and the girl allso put a dress on her body.'

__________________________________________________ (after about half an hour of sedative)

'here I am again. I just drank some medasin at the dentast and this is how I feel. I feel like I'm flying and I'm also really tired and really drowsy and allso a bit dizzy and I see to mummys sort of and I feel sort of weard. I'm allso sitting in a room thats really really small and I can't eat eany food or drink eany water and I allso got a lollypop. the dentist might be comeing right now    wate achaly I don't think she's comeing. I am sitting on a couch right now.' (taken to the dentist chair)

__________________________________________________

'latter in the day. I just got my teeth pulled out. It  was fun!'

"Is this real life?"

Afterwards she told me how much she liked the "medicine" (a mix that includes Demerol).
"Can we get some of that medicine for home?" she asked.

Me: "No, unfortunately not, otherwise mummy would have it stockpiled in the medicine cabinet."

All in all it was a positive experience. She was very drowsy and very relaxed: high, I guess you could call it. Of course we have to go back for the rest of the work...and now she is actually looking forward to it! A keen journal-er, the recipient of an abundance of dental work, a penchant for drugs...it seems the apple does not fall to far from the tree!

ETA: I should add that I was very impressed with the pediatric dentist, Dr. Anita Gartner at Tot2Teen dental office in Yaletown.  She was great with Bronwyn and explained everything that was happening. I sat right beside her as she did the dental work (something I couldn't have done a few years ago...ugh!).

Taking River to the dentist for dental work in the future is going to be a whole different challenge and I suspect we'll be back with Dr. Gartner. His last check up was okay...but he wouldn't let them clean his teeth at all:

River at the dentist: "No way!"

Extraction

Bronwyn has returned. The changeling that took her place for a while seems to have gone back to its lair...or maybe it is just waiting for the next time. Over the weekend her gum became more and more painful and swollen. She tried hard to be stoic, but it was making her miserable. By Monday we had convinced her that the dentist would need to take out the tooth. She agreed, but said she didn't want to go until she was ready. On Wednesday she was ready. I think it is good that the appointment was in the morning so that I could stress it was only a small part of the day and we could make plans for the rest of the day. When we arrived at the dentist she told him that she wanted him to extract her tooth. Despite her fear she did not waiver. Although she was terrified of the "pincher" (the injection), she was so brave that I was in awe. She asked to see all the equipment, and refused to have the TV on. There was some screaming as the injection went in...but no one held her down and once it was done she was fine. In fact she seemed quite curious about the whole extraction process. She told me off for saying "yank" instead of "extraction". Afterwards it was off to Toyrus for the latest piece of plastic; Zoobles. I know I previously vowed NEVER to darken the door of that toy hell-hole, but I needed to use Zoobles as a bribe positive reinforcement. The difference in her demeanor is amazing. Our happy little girl is back.

At the last visit to Dr. Klein there were some balloons around. Apparently it was his birthday. Bronwyn asked, "How old are you?" The dentist replied, "Oh, I've stopped counting. In fact, I've decided to start counting backwards." Bronwyn looked at him matter-of-factly, "Hah, well you're never going to be young again," she said. Dr. Klein visibly winced before agreeing that was indeed the truth.

So perhaps I can rest easy for a while. I felt so bad for her when she was in so much pain and saw her sad swollen little face. And of course I worried. And blamed myself for not brushing her teeth enough, for giving her too much candy and sweet stuff, for not teaching her to floss; for simply not being better. Then there were the other worries...maybe it was something serious. Maybe I'd neglected the signs of something serious. Scary visions flashed through my mind of sitting by a hospital bed...of all the worse that can happen. When I became a mother I was completely unprepared for the intense fear that comes with having children. In the early days this fear was almost debilitating. There were dreads and terrors that I constantly struggled to keep at bay. I couldn't even speak them out loud. I think it's gotten a little better over time...some days anyway. This poem seems to capture the essence of that fear.

Having Children

A siren goes by,
the scream cuts through me
even though my child is home.
For a moment I think...

Where am I?
In the middle of the night
a cry, dreamed
or heard, a wave washes
over the body of my child.
I have let her drown

or fall. She has fallen
from a high balcony
and I have let it happen.
Negligence. I feel
as if I'm plummeting...

Oh let this be a dream.
I'll be better next time.
I'll watch, I'll watch, I'll watch.

Barbara Tanner Angell, from The Long Turn Toward Light. (Taken from The Writer's Almanac).