Kaeshammer

Seems to be a writing lull these days. Not sure why. I am looking forward to tonight. My friend, Wendy, and I are going to see Michael Kaeshammer, phenomenal jazz pianist and singer. Can't wait. Here is a Youtube clip of "Lovelight" from his last album. He is playing tonight with Jill Barber (who I have mentioned before). I hope he brings out some boogie woogie; that is his forte.



Some good music coming out lately, Kate Bush just released a new album. I preordered this album from itunes. It has been released and I have not got my copy. Lesson: do NOT pre-order albums from stupid itunes. Bon Iver is releasing a new album in June. I am really excited to listen to new material (or reworked material in Kate Bush's case) from a couple of artists that I love.

I went to visit Stefan and Erin at Sunny Hill yesterday. Stefan is doing much better; although it is still a bit up and down. He got a double ear-infection; he doesn't seem to catch a break! Sunny Hill feels less clinical than Children's Hospital. There is a school there and a swimming pool and stuff for the kids and parents to do. It was good to see him looking so much better. And he is gaining weight.

Right now it is a beautiful sunny day and I should go for a walk to the beach. That is why I live here after all!

Have peas and quit

This is the card that Bronwyn made me for Mother's Day. So cute. "I hope you'll have peas and quit from now on". Oh Bronwyn, if only it were that simple.

It was a pretty good Mother's Day...exactly the kind of day I wanted. Lounging around all day in my pajamas. Time to read, knit, and surf the internet; guilt-free and without distraction. Mark took the kids swimming for the afternoon. Bliss. But it was already a week ago!

I have been trying to ignore the piles of stuff everywhere that are slowly driving me mad. How did we get this much stuff...it's everywhere? Bits of paper, books, crafts, objects collected or brought home from beaches and parks that defy categorization. Stuff that trails behind Bronwyn like she's some sort of one-girl stuff gathering magnet. My constant nagging to clean up does nothing except move piles of stuff from one place to another.The garage is full of stuff that is in a kind of limbo; not quite got rid of, but no longer needed. It needs to be got rid of. I am by no means blameless. The stuff that I have dragged from other people's garbage; the lawn mower that doesn't work, even though the handwritten sign taped to it said that it did work (liars!). The mini-trampoline that needs to be fixed...the chair that I will, I promise I will, sand and repaint. Stuff we don't need or want. Where does it come from? How does it accumulate so fast? Time is the other thing. There is just never enough time. I am constantly amazed at how fast the days go by and how little I appear to accomplish as each morning turns to dusk. "Time, time, time, look what's become of me, while I looked around for my possibilities."

Stefan is doing better and he has been transferred to Sunny Hill, which is more of a rehabilitation and respite centre. When I saw him he was relaxed in bed and no longer has an IV. I took River along and Stefan smiled as River jumped up and down. On Mother's day he was able to sit in his chair outside for a while. Erin and Hogie are beyond exhausted...but fortunately there seems to be some light at the end of this long tunnel. The possibility of going home is becoming real.

Bronwyn has invited friends over for a movie night tonight. I think we're watching "Bolt". She is very excited. I suppose I sometimes take for granted the fact that I grew up with siblings. Growing up, at least in the younger years, there were always kids coming and going in our house or yard. So I will serve up some pizza and ice-cream and the kids can kick back and enjoy each others company.

Long Winter

Stefan was doing a little better yesterday. Quite sedated, but looking at us. A smile radiating now and then from his sweet little face; relaxed and laying on his back. All going well, he should be able to move to Canuck Place soon. Much needed respite for him and for his mum and dad.

We have had a couple of gorgeous Spring days. Summer is just around the corner. And happy birthday to my sister (May 1st). I'm looking forward to sharing a couple of drinks tonight. I hope she likes her present...there was self-interest involved.

A poem for Spring.

Long Winter

So much I've forgotten
the grass

the birds
the close insects

the shoot—the drip—
the spray of the sprinkler

freckles—strawberries—
the heat of the Sun

the impossible
humidity

the flush of your face
so much

the high noon
the high grass

the patio ice cubes
the barbeque

the buzz of them—
the insects

the weeds—the dear
weeds—that grow

like alien life forms—
all Dr. Suessy and odd—

here we go again¬—
we are turning around

again—this will all
happen over again—

and again—it will—


"Long Winter" by Timothy J. Nolan.

Writer's Almanac, April 1, 2011.

The week

It's been a relatively quiet  and sad week. Little Stefan took a turn for the worse and had to return to ICU. We are all very worried about him. It is extremely serious. He was recovering well - on Monday Bronwyn and I saw him and Erin and he looked so relaxed; laying in his hospital bed and even smiling. Watching Bronwyn intently. On the way home Bronwyn said she wanted to invite Stefan to her birthday party. She wants to have a "Dog" birthday party and said that during the 4-legged race she would push Stefan in his wheelchair (Stefan has cerebral palsy). She knows if she was racing on all fours she would leave the other kids in the dust. It is wonderful how readily children accept differences. I would like to see that "4-legged" race more than anything else I can think of.

We dropped off a care package; an idea from a friend who had to spend a long time in hospital watching over her seriously ill husband. It is full of things that you might need if you were in that situation. I will write the list out in a future post in case anyone reading knows of someone who has to spend an extended time in hospital with their sick child or partner. Most parents of very sick children try to get what sleep they can in uncomfortable chairs or small cots. Often they cannot leave the ward; they can be up all night unable to even get a cup of coffee or a snack. This happens to partners too. I have in my mind to try to organize care packages for people who find themselves in those terrible situations. I need to look into the logistics; how to get donations/put them together/distribute etc.

But our thoughts are with Stefan and his family. There isn't much I can say - it is heartbreaking. Testing the limits of their endurance and they need all the love and support, and prayers, if you pray, that they can get. And we hope against all odds that he can pull through this and recover. Return home and be with his mum, dad and big brother. All together again.

Bronwyn and I are going camping for the weekend. Let's hope the weather holds and that by Sunday, when we get back, there is some good news.

Stefan

This week all our thoughts are with Erin, Hogie, Riley, and little Stefan. Stefan is our nephew. He has been very sick for some months and has not been getting any better. Lately, he took a turn for the worse. I visited Erin and Stefan in hospital yesterday. Words cannot express how deeply and unbearably moved I was. I am in awe of Erin's amazing strength and courage. And I am devastated by poor little Stefan's struggle and the suffering he has had to endure. He is just 7 years old. In addition to other health problems, not long after I left the hospital he was diagnosed with a rare condition called a Dystonic Storm. This is an intensely painful condition that has exhausted him and  his poor body. It is also life-threatening for Stefan and he was taken to ICU to be sedated for a couple of days in the hopes that his body can try to recover and he can get some rest. And perhaps Erin and Hogie can get a bit of respite too. I cannot hold back my tears when I think of them and what they have been through, and continue to go through. And when I think of that beautiful little boy. We have to be strong for them, and we have to hope. He is fighter.