Relief!

Got the results and the lump is benign. That word is music to my ears! Biopsies are no fun at all...neither is the wait (which, thankfully, was not very long). I shouldn't have to go back for another year. Hurray! Well, there is a chance that the lump will have to be removed anyway...but I am not bothered about that. It is not the same type of surgery as before and I think the surgeon may just decide to leave it for now. Now...back to summer. What?? There's only a week left! Then it's back to school for the kids who have reached the lolling about, bored, swinging legs and sighing stage of the summer holidays. To school with you!

No encore, thank you!

I went for a mammogram and ultrasound the other day...always fun! I was hoping for the all-clear...silly me. Oh no, not so fast, you don't get let off that lightly. A few days later I get a call from BCCA.
- 'You need to come in for an ultra-sound guided biopsy. Monday at 11:00am.'
- 'Errr...say, whaaat? Okay...what is that?'
- 'It's a biopsy guided by ultra-sound.'
- 'Oh thanks for clearing up my confusion.' So helpful.

Apparently it is ordered by the radiologist and done under local anesthetic; it takes about an hour. That's the amount of information I have been given. So here we go again. Nothing to worry about, lots of women have biopsies. Only it is not so easy for me to say that now. I was disappointed, to say the least. Called back in for yet another examination on the other breast. Excuse my language but...fuck that! I'm hoping they're just being hyper-vigilant, as they should be, but really? But do I need this? No I fucking do not!! Deep breaths...and try not to think about it. At least I will get another opportunity to flutter my eye-lashes at the handsome Oncologist...joke! I would never do anything like that. It would be very unprofessional and I take my patient responsibilities very seriously. I debated whether to say anything to anyone; sympathy and concern are not always welcome because we'd rather not need either. But of course I appreciate it is well meaning. And it is always nice to be cared about.

Despite having that in the back of my mind, we had a good week. It has been fun hanging with Jenn and Sapphire and Little River...as well as Nicole and Gala. The girls have had a great time playing in the sun. They seem to have ironed out their differences and are having a good time together. Bronwyn can be very bossy. But I have absolutely no idea where she gets it from.

So I am just trying to look forward to a relaxing weekend with the kids. Weather looks good so we will spend some time at the beach, feed carrots to fat rabbits, and maybe take a trip to Granville Island. And I will try not to think about Monday or any of that.

Trials and trails...

Well, the ultrasound went okay, aside from the timing mix up. I had an 11am appointment booked a few months ago, dutifully arrived on time, and was directed to the waiting area. Or rather to the 6 black chairs lined up in the hallway. After waiting patiently for over an hour, I began to wonder if something was amiss. So I went back to the reception and asked if there was a problem with my appointment. I was told, "No, everything is fine, we've signed you in and your appointment is at 2pm". I was surprised, "What? But my appointment was sent to me months ago...for 11am". She replied, "Well, I left a message on your phone yesterday to say the appointment had been changed to 2pm". Well I didn't get the message and I was pissed off, to say the least. Yes, I know, I should probably listen to phone messages. However, when I arrived 3 HOURS early why did they not point out that my appointment wasn't until 2pm and that I was a tad early???? Grrrrr. It messed up the whole day. Stupid phones. The ultra sound itself was okay...same old, same old. Essentially, "Hello, I am a stranger....please get your tits out and lie on the bed.".

For some reason I could not sleep on Wednesday night. Bronwyn had some kind of nightmare and wanted to sleep in our bed. That is okay, except I couldn't sleep. As a result I was extremely grumpy when I got up. A banging kitchen cupboards and drawers and bashing pots around kind of angry. Mark made the mistake of telling me to calm down...something like that. I yelled at him to "Leave me alone!" Yes, it was one of those mornings. I felt tired and depressed and didn't see why I was the only one who should suffer. Fortunately,  I managed to get it together to teach and began to feel a bit better (albeit in a fragile kind of way). I got on with the day and went to pick up Bronwyn from school. When I arrived she was playing around with a boy from her class. I said, "Bronwyn, let's go". The boy looked at me and then said to Bronwyn, "Who's that?"  Except like, "Who's that?" Bronwyn said, "That's my mum". He took another good look at me and then turned to Bronwyn, "Really? She looks too old to be a mum". Just perfect. Admittedly, tired and depressed is not my best look, but what was left of my ego (not that much) was left in tatters.

The day did actually get much better. And Friday was okay too, and I had a sleep-over at Michelle's which is always fun and relaxing. The weekend has been okay. Mark made a delicious steak dinner on Saturday. Yesterday we went on a rainy, muddy walk in Pacific Spirit Park, that was fun. I also made an appointment to get my hair cut...seriously cut.

mammograms and moving...

Yay...we are moving! I haven't even written much about the house we live in. It's a small, townhouse on UBC campus. Close proximity to the forest and not far from beaches etc. The downside is that we have virtually no outside space and we are surrounded by students. Ordinarily, I have no problem with students. Young, free, unfettered...go drink and make merry. That is what you should be doing. I have a problem when they are doing it every night outside my house. Also UBC is a transiet community and therefore isolating. There is no sense of a neighbourhood. At least not where we are living. So we decided to move and found a new place that is only minutes from the beach. It's bigger...it has a roof top deck with a view AND a yard, and it's the same rent as we pay now. So we move at the beginning of November. It's going to get even busier around here. We are really excited to be moving....not so excited at the prospect of packing boxes. I will think of it as an excuse to have a clear-out.

In other news, I am a little worried because I found out that I have to get surgery to remove a suspicious cluster of microcalcification in my breast. It is suspected DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ). I hadn't heard of it before. But they saw something in my annual mammogram and sent me back for a diagnostic mammogram. Now I am going to see a surgeon. There's no question, that I am worried. It must be every woman's fear. We just hope everything turns out okay. I don't know when the surgery will be - but it should be quite soon. Of course, it will be on the same week we move. I just realized that! And another thing I learned....stay away from Google!