Return to Sasquatch...

If you are a 6 year old girl who is going camping, these are the things you will need. I had no idea that Bronwyn was making a list; Mark found it after we'd left. We still forgot the fishing rod.

We had a lovely weekend. I toyed with the idea of going somewhere else, but ended up returning to Sasquatch Provincial Park. It is a known quantity and I think that is sometimes important when you are taking kids along. I intended to take Bronwyn and her friend Nicky, but sadly Nicky got sick and couldn't make it. So it was girls only and although Bronwyn missed not having a friend to play with, she made do with me and we had a great time.

We found a campsite that backed onto a forested area. It provided somewhere to explore, tree stumps to climb and a little stream nearby to dam. There were hummingbirds darting here and there and drinking nectar from the salmonberry flowers that bordered the campsite. And chirpy little chipmunks doing their busy thing, always looking a bit worried (avoiding getting eaten I suspect). I got busy chopping wood and setting up a tarp (it was cloudy and looked like it might rain). Bronwyn explored. It was the first trip of the year for Bronwyn and I had to make allowances for the fact she is used to constant distractions and, at first, found it difficult to entertain herself. It takes a while to get used the new environment; no TV, no friends. It's a bit like releasing a tamed animal back into the wild; it should be accustomed to the wilderness, but has been kept in an animal shelter and fed. She didn't want to stray far from me or the campsite. I anticipate that by the end of the camping season I will not see her from dawn until dusk unless she is hungry.

When we went for a hike, or sat around the campfire Bronwyn relaxed and stopped looking for constant entertainment. She sat in the chair beside me and we talked and joked. We shared our thoughts and ideas and hopes for the future. Here are some of hers: she wants to be a Rock Star....for dogs. She intends to create songs in dog-language that will be entertaining and meaningful for dogs. She told me that she doesn't think she was born from me, but that she was created somewhere else; in the wild, or under the water, and then put in my tummy. She also told told me that if anyone hurt me, even if she liked them, even if it was her boyfriend, she would kill them. I replied that I hoped she would not find a boyfriend who tried to hurt me. But good to know she's got my back.

We took a walk on the lakeside trail which had changed even from two weeks ago - of course, it is a living thing after all. More logs had fallen across the path, the ferns were spreading out, and the Birches and Alders growing new shoots and leaves.

We forgot the fishing rod and so Bronwyn made her own. A stick with string and a twist-tie hook. She took food samples; green pepper, strawberry, a bit of mushroom and cast her line off the dock. We finally got sunshine and I laid back on the warm planks of the dock to soak it up.

Unfortunately, the fish weren't biting. I did explain that fish aren't always hungry. That people can spend the whole day fishing and never get a single bite. She didn't get too discouraged. She did manage to snag a stick. I told her it could be a fish disguised as a stick and that she should throw it back anyway, just in case. She got a laugh out of that and threw back the stick-fish.

It was actually a bit of work to keep her entertained. I even put together a raft that she could sail down the stream that ran past the campsite and under the path to the lake (after she brought back the soggy paper boat I made). I am actually proud of the raft..it is very sturdy. However, on its maiden voyage it got stuck in  a tunnel. We tried to release it, but it wouldn't budge. Goodbye awsome raft, we said. Even though we both know how much I dislike the word "awesome" (it was appropriate in this case). We felt a little sad about losing it. I set about making another one which was okay, but not as good as the first one. Then just before we were leaving the next day we took a quick look at the other side of the tunnel and Bronwyn said, "I can see it!" It had been pushed along towards the other end of the tunnel over night. So we rescued it using part of a long branch and brought it home. Many of my pictures got blown out because I had somehow altered the exposure compensation on the camera...+1.7, which as Mark redundantly pointed out, is huge and ruins your photographs. Annoying because I'd really worked at setting up some good shots. Oh well, I got some good snap shots anyway. 

I had a couple of hours to myself in the evening to contemplate life in front of the campfire. I thought a lot about Stefan and about how unfair life is. I made bargains with a God that I don't even think exists. Things like, "Make Stefan well and I'll go to church every week". But things are not getting better. They are hoping to move Stefan to Canuck Place Hospice soon, but the date keeps getting moved. It is unbearably sad and I cannot fathom how Erin and Hogie, and other parents in similar situations, manage to keep it together and stay strong. Ultimately, because they have to. Because no one else can do it except them. There cannot be a heavier burden in this world. We are still hoping against hope.

Mark stayed home and hung out with River. And we avoided all and everything to do with the royal wedding.