Trials and Tribulations...

Busy week. Really busy week.

Autism update: quite a few meetings regarding River this week (and next); goal setting, team meetings, speech therapy assessment. The team meeting was pretty good. I addressed quite a few concerns that we have with River's program and his progress. ABA is all well and good, but sometimes the consultants get fixed on their goals and they have to be reminded to incorporate stuff that we need to work on for our family. Soon he will be too big for the stroller, and he is almost too heavy to be carried about. He still wanders and bolts...and we are no longer chasing a little toddler, we are chasing a tall, fast 4 year old. So we are going to work on "teaching" River to walk down the street holding my hand. Then we are moving towards the big goal of going to the grocery store (with River walking because he is too big for the cart) and other outings. Sometimes it all seems so slow-going. We also need help to curb River's destructive behaviour. If he does not get one-to-one attention then he resorts to repetitive behaviours that quickly digress into destructive behaviours. His thing at the moment is throwing things and slamming doors...impossible to ignore and very, very annoying! On Tuesday I met up with a woman who also has a 4 year old boy with autism. It was great to chat with someone who could relate to our life in a way that most people (even with the best of intentions) cannot. I think, to a certain extent, that has been something missing with us. I hope we can get the kids together and perhaps develop a friendship.

Poor Bronwyn has had a rough week. She has been tired and not herself for some time now. I decided to take her to the doctor and she had to have a blood test to rule out anything serious. Needless to say the blood test was not fun. I think it was more the thought of it that made her feel panicky (and squeamish) rather than the actual procedure. She watched me having a blood test a while back so I didn't think she'd be so panicked. But she was! Then she has had a problem with her teeth AND growing pains. She woke up one night crying in pain because all her joints hurt. Then a couple of nights later she woke up crying because of toothache. I took her to the dentist...again, not very fun, and it seems she may have an abscess. Now she's on anti-biotics. Added to that she is generally tired and unhappy. My poor little girl. Even her teacher mentioned she has seemed unhappy. The teacher told me that Bronwyn mentions Ellee every single day. She is still fixated on dogs and is convinced she can speak dog and will turn into a dog when she grows up. Maybe it's taking her longer to get over Ellee than we thought.

I borrowed, and am reading, my second ever parenting book, "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. The only other one I ever used was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth (which I thoroughly recommend!). I met with a social worker last week who offered suggestions on how to talk to Bronwyn about River...or about things in general. I think that when I talk to Bronwyn I must resist my urge to fix things, or appear "wise" and all-knowing. I realise that all I accomplish by doing that is to invalidate Bronwyn's feelings. I need to listen more and talk less (this is nearly always one of my New Year's Resolutions). So over the past week or so I have consciously made changes in the way I talk to and listen to her and already I have noticed a positive difference. Maybe there is something to this "listening" thing.

Bronwyn had a sleepover at aunty Trini's last night. I think she had a good time. Ice-cream for breakfast apparently! It's great if she can get over there for sleep-overs now and then and spend time with another adult...it's good for us too.