Rainy Sunday

A cold rainy day today; the perfect day to stay indoors and relax. Remembrance Day. We listened to the service from Ottawa on the CBC radio. Today, of course, was a solemn occasion on the radio. I found my eyes filling up with tears as we heard the last post bugle call. Bronwyn and I talked about war and what Remembrance is for and we held some silence - even River was quiet. Next year we will get out for the service. I feel bad that we didn't make it this year.

I skyped mum and it was lovely to talk to her - always so bittersweet when there are such distances involved. I wish we were closer and that she was able to enjoy time with the kids. One never quite gets used to living in another country. There is so much that is missed. I am beginning to enjoy skype. We don't have a home phone, so it is necessary for calls to the UK. I don't know why it's taken me so long to get on board.

Bronwyn and I watched a lovely animated movie called "Mary and Max", about the unusual relationship (correspondence) between a lonely young girl in Australia and an older, obese man in New York, who has Aspergers. It really is a good movie. She is getting to an age when we can watch more mature movies and talk about them. This movie seemed to have an impact and she talked about it quite a bit throughout the day. She even sat down and wrote a letter to her cousin, Hannah, in England. Later we went to the grocery store to search for chocolate bars to send to Hannah that might not be available in England. I suggested the "Three Muskateers" bar. But we will have to search further than the local IGA for that. It also enabled me to suggest to her that River had the same inability (as Max) to understand non-verbal communication. I think, slowly, she is gaining some understanding of River. In the moment, she loses all understanding and they are two siblings in an (unfair) fight. But I hope as she gets older that she will begin to understand more.

River was mostly calm today. He is fixated by videos of himself that have been made while he was in one-to-one intervention sessions; mostly for assessment, information purposes. He loves to look back on his old movies. We have experienced many new behaviours over the past while; bouts of 'silliness' that we are simply unable to distract him from. We, and our team, are constantly trying to come up with new strategies to help calm him. What seems to be becoming apparent, as he gets older, is that he is increasingly anxious. The world seems so chaotic and difficult for him to understand and process. It is difficult for most of us...but for kids with autism it is overwhelmingly noisy and strange. We are considering the possibility that he may suffer from an anxiety disorder. His anxiety over poo-ing in the toilet, defecating in general (ongoing since he was a baby) seems to affect all aspects of his life. Currently, we are trying to collect data on his moods and anxiety level; writing things down at regular intervals. We need everyone, home team, school team, after-school club, to participate. We do not know what the triggers to his bouts of 'silliness' are. (Silliness includes, screaming, yelling, bolting, laughing, repeating phrases and lately, hitting, flopping, and kicking). When he is in these phases it is as if he has sunk into the quicksand of his autism and is incredibly difficult to reach. If we can figure out the triggers then we can perhaps intervene before the behaviour has become out of control. If we don't know the triggers or the consequences (and it is usually attention or escape), then we could inadvertently be reinforcing the behaviour. It all seems so complicated. But we keep going, of course.

Trimmed both their hair tonight. Bronwyn wanted layers! Well beyond my scope of expertise. When I finished cutting River's hair, he asked for "Some more off the top." I thought this was hilarious and pretended to cut some more 'off the top'. Watched the Christmas episode of 'Backyardigans' for the millionth time and got them off to bed nice and early.

I was able to submit my second to last assignment for my course. It was on the development of communication and social skills in developmentally delayed children. 'Luckily' for me, something I know a little bit about.

Lots more packing to do, but impossible to do when the kids are around. I should be able to get the keys on Thursday!