Off to the wilderness...

Get that rain gear and mosquito repellent ready. Look out bears, birds, and small furry woodland creatures...we'll soon be visiting a campsite near you! We're about to embark on our first camping trip of 2010. The first trip in the VW van. What adventures await us out there in the wild?

We will all sleep in the van, including our trusty companion, Ellee. Unfortunately, as beautiful as she is (for a 14 year old dog), her breath smells like she ate a rotten salmon 4 years ago and it is still decomposing inside her mouth. It is really that bad. It may even explain why River's hair is so curly. We can't even let her sleep in our bedroom...the smell used to wake me from my sleep; old dogs pant a lot for no particular reason. My worry about her being in the van is that she'll start panting and we won't be able to wake up...ever. An inexplicable tragedy you'll read about in the paper. Maybe I could spray her with Febreze (what actually IS Febreze anyway). We'll just have to see how it goes. I know, I know...I should have brushed her teeth all these years. But I'm just not the type of person who brushes my dog's teeth. I've always picked up her poo - as a service to the community and for the common good and because I am a good citizen who doesn't like shit on her shoes...but I just don't have time to brush her teeth. Now it's all water under the bridge...or rotting teeth under the smell of low-tide. No-one told me about how bad their breath could get. Of course, I was always aware that dogs have stinky breath...but I was ignorant of the fact that it later manifests into some kind of warm toxic cloud, emanating from their panting jaws, that burns your eyes and makes you gag and retch. I have learned my lesson. And if you're thinking of getting a dog...and not one of those little "apartment-sized" dogs that wear clothes and shoes and live in your handbag...but a real dog, then you may have to be prepared to brush it's teeth. Or suffer the consequences 14 years later.

The other unknown is River. He handled camping in the tent very well last year. But that is no indication of what he will do this year. Being a boy with autism, he loves his routine. But he's also a boy obsessed with switching lights on and off and opening and closing doors and drawers. The van provides a whole myriad of light switching, door/drawer opening and closing opportunities. An almost endless series of on and off variations (and there are variations...). It will be interesting to see what happens. Bronwyn is so excited that she is positively buzzing. Bedtime is going to be tricky. But we know that eventually they will crash and sleep...that is the mantra that many parents repeat; trembling hands clutching their glass of wine or beer.

So I have to go and get prepared. My mission this year is to find some tasty, healthy, quick to prepare vegetarian camping meals. We hardly eat meat...so steaks on the bbq aren't going to happen. Unless we find some free-range SPCA approved beef tenderloin...and I may actually find that at Choices. But not this trip. It's tofu dog and veggie burger, salad, steamed veg and easy-to-prepare rice dishes, that's about it. Not very exciting at all...which is why I intend to change all that. Later of course. No point in doing now what I can put off until another time.

So camping here we come. Must go get those marshmallows (though Bronwyn and River both spit them out in disgust). I wonder about kids these days, turning their noses up at sugar. And no need to shower for a couple of days...mosquitoes prefer the smell of washed people apparently. Mark and I are comfortable enough that we get along even if we are unwashed, perfumed with deet and sunscreen, hungover, and grunting and pointing as a form of communication. We also get along when we are camping. So onwards into the wilderness...get ready to carry a stick, hug a tree, smell the forest and melt marshmallows on an open fire, poking them about and watching in awe at how much they expand...and talking about it.....a lot. And relaxing of course...ha ha...don't be stupid! But I will take some knitting, just in case.